FOOTBALL (PREMIERSHIP) - CARP POSTS WELCOME - WHINERS FLAMED

[GeoffSmith]

Newcastle fired up for the cup tie with Spuds by highly motivational speech.

"Oxymoronic cockney dwarf heads home" - oh please, please, let it happen.

[Dave Eds]

What daz said

[GeoffSmith]

Phew! At least Roy Kinnear will get the laughter back in the dressing room.

[Dave Eds]

Wrong Kinnear Geoff.

It's Jo(k)e as in "Ashley's joking 'ere for sure".

Long live Morecambe and Wise.

Why is it the Geordies want a Geordie as manager - Shearer/Keegan etc?

After all is Fergy a Manc? Is Wenger an Ar$e? - oh now I see!

[GeoffSmith]

Hey Spud. Having failed to score against the lot that leaked 10 goals in two games, I guess you thought it couldn't get any worse!

Jenas for goalie?

[Dave Eds]

Q. What have Jol and Ashley got in common?

A. Kelmsley.

Toon and Spuds for the Championship. after we've retained the Carling Cup of course!

[DeeAitch]

Phew! At least Roy Kinnear will get the laughter back in the dressing room.

Only if he plays this

Danger Not office friendly

[GeoffSmith]

Toon and Spuds for the Championship.

Swap places with Capt. Mainwaring and the Pink Panter?

Code: Select all

   Team           P  W  D  L  F  A  W  D  L  F  A GD PTS
1  Wolverhampton  8  4  0  0 13  3  3  1  0 10  4 16 22
2  Birmingham     8  3  0  1  4  1  3  1  0  7  4  6 19

[paulrwebster]

How the heck has this happened? Aren't we meant to be the whipping boys?

[Dave Eds]

Well as you've asked, and going on today's game, you deserve to be where you are in the table, as do we. Hull had a squad playing for each other with confidence and enjoyment. We were the opposisite, and yet again our manager subbed one of the only players who looked capable of doing anything. Your fans started the season thinking this is a one season adventure, well they'd better get used to the top flight as they look like they'll be around a lot longer.

Well played Hull, and Phil Brown!

[GeoffSmith]

Well done Hull and shame on those of us with high hopes of breaking into the top four (Wet Spam, Spuds and Neverton).

Phil Brown!

Now, which team's on the lookout for a Geordie manager?

[chris.t]

Thought you might like this

Clicky

[Dave Eds]

Not Premiership, but then I won't be allowed on this thread soon anyway!

Looks like my namesake knows his football too.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/footbal ... 660577.stm

[GeoffSmith]

Juande Ramos was walking around White Hart Lane when he spotted the groundsman.

"This pitch is perfect" he said to him, "it's the most beautiful pitch I have ever seen".

"No wonder" says the groundsman, "you put 85 million pounds worth of s**t on it every other week".

[Dave Eds]

The same groundsman had the same conversation with Terry Neil, Christian Gross, Ossie Ardiles, Gerry Francis, George Graham, Glen Hoddle, Jacques Santini, David Pleat (countless times)............................................

[clemo]

not premiership but.
should you wish to sing along...

england v kazakhstan

Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium.

Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool.
It's length thirty meter and width six meter.
Filtration system a marvel to behold.
It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.
Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan.
They very nosey people with bone in their brain.

Kazakhstan industry best in world.
We invented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstan's prostitutes cleanest in the region.
Except of course for Turkmenistan's.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Norther fence of Jewtown.

Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader.
From junction with the testes to tip of its face!


according to borat

[GeoffSmith]

Looks likes it's safe to mock the afflicted now.................. JFK - 2 : 'onest 'arry's 'otspurs (minus Billy the goldfish, surprise, surprise) - 1

[Dave Eds]

[Sy V]

Smithers, cop a load of this:

Last night's Fiver included a link to a computerised (Hawkinge-esque) version of Joe Kinnear's first official press conference back in October, since taking over the helm at Newcastle. Please be aware that the language is about as bad as you can imagine so careful where/when you open it. I just couldn't help giggling...


Put those headphones on!

[GeoffSmith]

Smithers, cop a load of this:

Thanks Sy, I'll have to listen to it when I get home.

You do realise he's now called JFK in Newcastle - Joe f**king Kinnear!