by nitroman » Thu 17.05.2012, 05:44
For over 30 years, women have inspired me to get better at writting to them. I can't count high enough to tell you the number of letters I've scrawled, black ink sliding across white paper, or the "wham, wham, wham" of a manual typewriter or electric letter-ball, to the silent pressing of a single key today. 99% of them are lost to time, as they were perfect to the occasion, their role fulfilled. However, two I copyrighted (only costs $40), so I don't fear showing them online.
Time Rocks
By Matthew W-e-l-s-h
2008
Time rocks, humming the strain of its song,
And you walk in the golden embrace of the sun.
Only in the darkness of dreams
Do I lie again in your arms.
Time rocks, forever humming its song.
Time rocks to the ancient rhythm
Of the love song we shared
When my body was more
Than a reflection
In the crystal eye of your mind,
And the touch of my flesh
Kindled a flame in your heart
In the heat of the day.
Time rocks, singing its song,
And the empty cradle of your loving arms,
Which once softly held all my hopes and desires,
Now holds securely the love of another
For what seems like an eternity.
How can I not care,
For how can I not have loved you,
After kissing your soft lips
Again and again under an endless sky?
So I walk again
The mirrored mansion of your memory;
Deserted hallways
Where your picture still hangs highest,
While your silent reflection looks away.
Frost now clings to the mirror
Once warmed by the closeness of your face.
Not long ago,
It’s handle felt the softest touch of all,
The caress of your loving hand
In the cool, gentle light of a new day.
Through the milky glass of time
I gaze out over sleepless nights
Forever searching for you.
In the sky above stars
Make holes in the ceiling of heaven,
But you don’t see them.
Why then, I wonder,
Are they there?
The beauty is wasted
Without yours in it.
I turn away,
For the night has shattered.
Its broken darkness falls into my soul,
Where it finds emptiness
And is alone.
Can something so broken, so empty,
Ever be whole again?
Touch is not touch
Since knowing you.
Though the Earth is filled with women,
No warmth is complete and protecting
Save for yours.
So I spend my time,
For I can spend nothing more,
Until the heart
Which you owned so completely,
Comes back to me.
Serenade To A Lady
by Matthew W-e-l-s-h
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
1991 (about 2 weeks before the start of the ground war)
--This was an actual letter to my wife.--
Though you are only half a world away,
In my darker moments it is easy to believe
I shall not be one of the lucky ones who finds their way home,
And that you are gone forever.
My only concern is for you,
For I do not wish to add any sadness into your life.
Like all the other young men here who have a lot to lose,
I’m not particularly afraid of death.
I only dislike the thought of dying
Because you've let me enjoy the experience of life so much.
It makes me want to enjoy it beside you so very much longer,
To be granted, one last time, the joy of rediscovering you.
Should my blood stain the desert sand
Then I've no choice but to sacrifice all those precious tomorrows.
Tomorrows I would spend looking into your eyes,
Where I would wash away your tears with my own.
Time ticks ever faster,
Pulsing with power now,
Beating its heart aloud,
Beckoning me to the battlefield.
Thinking I may never again look upon you
Makes me lose all hope;
For it is you I am living to see again,
Be with again, touch and love again,
Feeling your soft warmth on cool nights.
Oh my god Rachel, to lay under you again!
Surly, Nothing in heaven exceeds the sight of you.
I don't mean to embarrass you, but I can't allow myself to slip a foot in the grave
Without letting you know just how beautiful you are to look at,
And how it brightens the darkest forebodings of war and soldiering
Remembering the beautiful woman who awaits me,
And me alone, and for whom I need only live.
I truly am the luckiest soldier in Riyadh.
Not only do I have zeal & commitment to my mission,
But to returning to the greatest pleasure & happiness I've ever known, or can even imagine.
I feel for the first time that heaven truly is far away, for you are.
I never felt the need to commune with God, but you, Rachel,
I cannot smile without, and hope never to live without again.
To end this letter is like letting go of you, and makes me want to stay up all night writing;
Remembering you, focusing on you, away from this dark place where everyone slumbers.
If you could only know that, you'd smile while you slept.
For tonight while you rest, I am thinking wonderfully and forlornly of you.
How is it that one woman can engender a man's thoughts so completely, in lieu of all others?
In only four hours I must try to get you out of my mind, and pay attention at briefings & practices
About mission objectives I will confide in you as soon as I'm allowed.
Rachel, I can never say enough to you, nor tire of having the fine lines of you silhouetted in my mind.
If I have left you feeling loved, appreciated, adored, and lusted after,
And knowing that my primary reason to survive this war is to once again know the joy of being with you,
Then I have said what I feel, even though the passion and extent of those feelings you alone created
Cannot be contained by mere words encased within this electronic box.
No, the lifeless container housing these words does its intended a complete injustice.
In ancient Egypt, you would have words carved into stone for you.
Were it within my power Rachel,
I would rearrange the sacred blocks of the pyramids solely to please you.
(Although I don't think the authorities would take kindly to me doing that!)
Would though, I had the power of the pharaohs to honor you.
Then you would have your own temple, a beautiful edifice standing forever in your praise.
As it is, the only thing I offer for all eternity
Is love and gratitude for every moment spent with you and remembered.
With all that I am or will ever be,
I remain as before, now, and always,
In loyal and lucky service to you. -Matthew
Strive for perfection in everything. (given time)
Take the best that exists & make it better. (given inclination)
If it doesn't exist, create it. (God did)
Ignore what I say. (good advice)
