Lotus Elan Central

by **Enright** » Wed 03.05.2006, 21:48

I have a spare downpipe, so my plan is to use the normal mating flange to the main system at the end of it, and have it welded to the specially made 2 1/2" downpipe.

The reduction would be done at the mating flange. I just asked about the pipe going as far as the prongeron so that I have a spare bit that I can have cut back to the right length.

by **stevo** » Thu 04.05.2006, 21:33

yes i had a flex fitted

by **Enright** » Thu 11.05.2006, 17:31

Dico, did you have any luck getting a price on that part I was asking about?

Monty, where did that 2nd pic in your last post on the last page come from? I really want a front section just like that (but with a flange at the bottom)!

by **Monty** » Thu 11.05.2006, 18:38

Enright13 wrote:Dico, did you have any luck getting a price on that part I was asking about?

Monty, where did that 2nd pic in your last post on the last page come from? I really want a front section just like that (but with a flange at the bottom)!

This is the last page :smt017

Got that pic of the forum quite a long time ago think it might of been a system for the USA guys

Don`t bother with Powerflow it`s not manderal bent :shock:

by **Dico** » Fri 12.05.2006, 21:16

No Neil, I never got a price because......

I'm pleased to announce that after 3 months of hard labour my project has come to fruition.
Character Exhausts ltd have done themselves proud by making me a 'one off' exhaust system. I believe theres no other like it!

On my arrival at their depot to collect the finished car I was delighted to see the rear tailpipe sticking out to greet me. I could have sworn it winked at me in the glistening sun.
I suppose the reason for it sticking out so much (not unlike a big bell end) is to help the exhaust flow. It actually serves a second purpose, Ive found it great for standing on for reaching into the apex of the garage.
Little did I know how much more inovative thinking lay ahead.

On glancing under the elan (squadie press up postion) the exhaust was clearly visable for inspection. It hung rather low, infact lower than a lithuanian limbo dancer having a particularly low low moment.
I soon realised it was rather a clever idea by the borstal dotted fitter. He had obviously gone one better than lotus by utilising the wasted space that we all have under our elans. Well, all except stevo that is. Also it would keep the inevitable leaking fumes away from myself and sam. Fantastic idea!

The borstal dotted fitter had obviously done his homework and sussed that our elans are prone to prongeron damage on speed humps etc. To combat this problem he cleverly manufactured the front pipe in such a way that it would hit any object of more than 1 1/2 inches in height, thus saving the prongeron from any damage whatsoever. The particularly ingenious part of it is that the very STRONG flexible joint is the part that will 'absorb' any impact.

I had specified that the exhaust I required would need to be mandrel bent so to avoid any reductions on the bends. This was agreed to by the chap in the suit who gave me the initial quote. what a lovely man.
However it seemed our borstal dotted fitter decided to be creative with the standard bender (I spotted a 45 gallon drum in the corner

) and designed some spectacular curves as can be seen below. I believe a distant cousin of his was involved in the building of the big dipper at blackpool.
It was rather clever thinking as really big bends avoid the inevitable squish that you would normally encounter when you dont posess a mandrel bending machine, even when you state you have in your posession a mandrel bending machine.
I figured he new best though, and that myself and everybody else on the planet were wrong.
I liked him also. He had a nice smile.

As I left the garage all the staff came out to wave me off. They all had big smiles on their faces. Some were holding their sides, almost as though they were in pain. I put this down to them having had a late lunch.

The journey home was fantastic!
When asked if I wanted it to sound loud I replied 'medium'
Bortal dotted fitter decided 'extra loud' would suit this little sportscar better.
I felt really youthfull setting off at the first set of lights. All the girls were looking at me. Infact everybody was!!!
The best was yet to come. As I entered our 'quiet' little cul de sac and aproached the first speed hump (are they called this because most boy racers actually speed up for them?) an enormous scraping noise came from below me. The panic soon left me when i realised the exhaust had a good 8 inches to travel before reaching my precious elans bodywork.
Clever fitter.
I cant wait till it goes dark to see the sparks.

I feel embarassed and ashamed. Embarassed and ashamed that I have taken this work of art from its creator.
So embarassed infact that this weekend I shall be removing this curvaceous piece of metalwork and returning it to its borstal dotted inventor.
And just so he does'nt forget to take it home (and perhaps display it on his proud mums mantlepiece) I'm going to ram it somewhere really really tight and secure!

"You can't get thicker than a borstal dotted fitter, they're the boys to trust???"

by **Dico** » Fri 12.05.2006, 21:19

Spot the diference competition.

by **Paul.P** » Fri 12.05.2006, 21:22

Brilliant

, aint laughed so much in ages :lol:

Sorry Paul, already done it mate !

by **Monty** » Fri 12.05.2006, 21:50

Stiffy and Sump look good thou :roll:

When u have it removed it would be good to know what the diameter of that flange they welded on :lol:

by **Rambo** » Fri 12.05.2006, 22:14

No more Scottish hump back bridges for you Dico !!

Mark

PS By the way, was that nice sales person wearing cowboy boots with spurs at the back and called John Wayne ??

by **GeoffSmith** » Fri 12.05.2006, 23:48

FFS I thought I was having problems! Deepest sympathies Paul - I can see why you were a bit miffed but it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour.

What are the axle stands for anyway - do they take the stress off the exhaust or are they for better balance?

Mind you, it truly is a work of art - send the pics to tracy.emin@reallycrapartists.com and she'll probably win another Turner prize. It's a shame you were after a piece of good engineering.

My long lost brother wrote:No more Scottish hump back bridges for you

There will be no Scottish hump back bridges if he drives over them!

Geoff

One final thought, when was the last time you saw something that wide hung so low?

by **Doug** » Sat 13.05.2006, 00:30

looks good, looks like it will flow well, appears well made, but be wary of something has to give when it hits bumps -- it may be the pipe gets dented, or one of the welds could give/crack so check it every so often . . .

by **Rambo** » Sat 13.05.2006, 08:17

Come on Dico - lets see your pride and joy from the back. Give us another laugh !!

My sides hurt last night when I read your account here and on Pissed on Heads !! You should take up writing comedy for a living.

Signed back up for the PECO one yet ?

Mark

by **Dico** » Sun 14.05.2006, 10:30

Rambo wrote:
Signed back up for the PECO one yet ?

That would be far too easy and stress free Mark. You need stress to survive so i'm told

So........ i've opted to go with this chap >>> http://www.tubetorque.co.uk/

He is absolutely barking, but his work looks fantastic.
He uses 16 gauge rather than 18, and if the customer wants a mandrel bend he will give him a mandrel bend!
I'm booked in for the 31st of this month so fingers crossed

by **Monty** » Sun 14.05.2006, 10:58

Glutting for punishment :lol:

Show is u`r Tip u Tit!

Hey there`s another project for u mate, get the manifold remade :shock:

by **Monty** » Wed 17.05.2006, 15:19

Well he must be a shame of his Tip, anyways I manage to sneak a Photo whilst he was round at mine with SammyD.

I think it looks ok :-D

by **Enright** » Wed 17.05.2006, 17:32

OMG someone's nailed an elephant gun to Dico's car! :shock:

by **Paul.P** » Wed 17.05.2006, 17:53

JESUS !, the bloke that made that had to be on something, & a lot of it !!!, very surprised you even bought the car away from the place Paul, i would of been pulling my hair out