Things that made you smile today

[esprit888]

Having my day in court today and beating an excessive speeding ticket in the Elan (138 in a 60 zone)

[Peter_W]

"138 in a 60 zone"

That's a real victory! How did that go?...

"Apologies your honor, I was looking at the tachometer instead of the speedometer"?

[esprit888]

I was (without prejudice) 'probably' speeding, and one picture of the road would explain why i just did not believe that i was going the speed that i was ticketed for (dont we all!) its a long long story but the bottom line is research research research. Officers in my province are taught to take note of a U.S ruling ( New Jersey Superior Court Judge Reginald Stanton issued a landmark ruling in 1996 stating that laser guns may not target vehicles past 1,000 feet due to the gun's one millidadian beam divergence of 36" at that distance might incorrectly target an adjacent vehicle) at the distance i was ticketed (2,300 feet)the size of the Lidar/laser beam due to divergence was over 9 feet and i had just passed two cars meaning he was getting more than one return. Its a common myth (which the police like to spread) that laser is pinpoint accurate up to a mile, its simply BS in the hopes you don't fight it. There are a million references to troll through on-line but a simple calc is that the laser beams used by most forces (3 millidian) is conical and spreads at 3mm per meter from the gun. Multiply 3mm xthe distance quoted on the ticket plus 30mm as it leaves the gun for a fairly close beam spread. Under 1000ft i would have been toast, but 2300 is really pushing the limits of not only the gun, but way beyond his ability to hold it steady (no tripod).

[tigerdog]

Nice research. Great victory!

MPH or KPH?

[esprit888]

Nice research. Great victory!

MPH or KPH?

Sorry, should have stated that up here its KPH. I had him on a bunch of other stuff as well, he did not have a clear and unobstructed line of site, he did not record his testing of the laser before and after the ticket (required everywhere) did not record his start and end of shift manufacturers tests (also required with case law to support its requirement) did not draw ( as i asked him to in court) the correct indication on the laser gun (keep in mind its a year ago so no way he would remember what i clearly did) He drew it as 138kmh and 725.3 meters, but forgot that he targeted me going away from him so he should have drawn a minus -138kmh as 138kmh is an indication i was coming towards him, which i wasn't. Theres more but i dont want to bore you. Suffice to say i have learned a TON of information and am well prepared for the next time, which with the new aggresive tactics being employed here i am sure there will be one

[ashm]

2300 is really pushing the limits of not only the gun, but way beyond his ability to hold it steady (no tripod).

This is obvious to anyone who's tried to hold a steady aim on a moving target - even with something the size of a car it'd be very difficult to stay centred beyond about 150 yards. Add a little wind buffeting from passing traffic and there'd be no hope. I've always wondered whether this was an issue with radar gun prosecutions...

Adam

[Peter_W]

A few of these made me smile...

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you
with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a
bike and asked for forgiveness.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to
tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a Whole
box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can Train
people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't
need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency,
notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said
"Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and
50 for Miss America?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a Successful
man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to Skydive
twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you
will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish
they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a
great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't
get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a Shot
of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department
usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the
target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no
imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you
are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have
more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

[esprit888]

2300 is really pushing the limits of not only the gun, but way beyond his ability to hold it steady (no tripod).

This is obvious to anyone who's tried to hold a steady aim on a moving target - even with something the size of a car it'd be very difficult to stay centred beyond about 150 yards. Add a little wind buffeting from passing traffic and there'd be no hope. I've always wondered whether this was an issue with radar gun prosecutions...

Adam

It may be obvous to you & me Adam but try telling that to the judge! (BTW it was Laser not radar, there is a huge difference between the older radar and the newer Lidar/Laser) Its all a scam as during discovery i requested the police departments operational guidelines for the use of laser speed measuring devices (which in itself is an oxymoron as the devices do not measure speed) The reply i got was "we don't have any" ! So i asked for the operational guidelines from the manufacturers operation manual. The response was "sorry, due to copyright issues we are not permitted to give you a copy of the manual (translation= **** off and get it yourself) So i did, Went through it cover to cover and guess what, nowhere does it state at what distance the operator should cease using it in a hand held manner and switch to a tripod. All it says is it may be difficult to obtain a reading at the high end of the maximum range. The analogy is to think about the challenge of hitting a target the size of a license plate three football fields distant, with a handgun. for the full article go to:
http://blog.motorists.org/what-everyone ... aser-guns/

[Specky]

Had a bit of a key board phaff today...

My top tip is not to try and search the Internet for "David Bowie - heroes"

why I here you cry.... Cos the "O" is to dam close to the "P" and try explaining why your searching the Internet for that one....

I didn't know if it should go in the joke of the day section, but as My face was one of horror at first it eventually made me laugh...

TTFN

[ashm]

There's a little cafe called Heroes in the middle of Oxford; the whole time I lived there the sign above the front window had been "adjusted" to turn the 'o' into a 'p'...
In fact, here's a photo.
Adam

[tweetdriver63]

Two things that made me smile today:

My daughter had her career high scoring in tonight's pre-season basketball tournament game. 28 points and 7 rebounds. After 2 games she's averaging 21.5 pts/game to start off her senior year.

Now the other:

IMAG0064.jpg

[Songbird]

What the f*ck .....


http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Solid-Gold-GANGST ... 1c16a008ea

[GeoffSmith]

What the f*ck .....


http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Solid-Gold-GANGST ... 1c16a008ea

Don't you think it would look good when you're all stroking your bollocks by the tea machine?

[Songbird]

[Songbird]

Come on everyone .... its time to make that little donation to just giving...

Poor old Geoffers beard is getting out of controll ... http://www.justgiving.com/kittyfiddler

[Bolsom]

John Humphreys:- Politicians, like babies nappies should be changed frequently ........ and pretty much for the same reason.

[tigerdog]

Smiling and happy all weekend. Went bicycle shopping with my son on the occasion of his 13th birthday. Double smiles when he selected a vintage Klein Rascal mountain bike instead of an overweight entry level new bike. He appreciates fine craftsmanship AND understands Colin Chapman's "To go faster, add lightness" adage. I'm a lucky dad.

[nitroman]

BBC News: Coconuts removed in India ahead of Obama visit
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-11684382

[Specky]

Just came accross this and thought after 30 odd years nothing has really changed...

Used to love the Barron Knights

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crnA2lxlfAo&feature=fvst

and these were my fav's:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPIU01s-R6k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_7CKiwycCY

They always make me smile...

TTFN

[Songbird]

Dublin Tram Crash Wednesday, 24 February, 2010, at 9:14