Things that made you smile today

[GeoffSmith]

Ear to ear or 'ere (points left) to 'ere (points right)?

[HJ2]

Ehrm... You lost me there Geoffers!
Translation over the mail please!

[Dave Eds]

Almost 1.000 posts! Not bad for a bloody foreigner who knew nothing of automotive tinkering (and the language that goes with that) before LEC
To celebrate this )I'm sure i'm gonna make it ) , I have ordered metal monkey dials for my Elan

Now sitting on the sofa with a smile from ear to ear!

Congratulations Henk-Jan on your 1000th post

[HJ2]

Thanks... ! Now I'll have to post in the 'things that make you smile" tread again!
Ooh wait.. I'm doing it already!

[Dave Eds]

[GeoffSmith]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/TomTom-GO-700 ... 0726587776

You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700

This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...

The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.

I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400...
As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...

Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's...
So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...

My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...

Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity...
I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault...
I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel's house...

After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell...
Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...

I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.
All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.

Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...

I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...


As an after thought...
There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...

The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...

So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...

Good Luck

[GeoffSmith]

Ear to ear or 'ere (points left) to 'ere (points right)?

Ehrm... You lost me there Geoffers!
Translation over the mail please!

Sorry Henk-Jan, people from London and the South East of England tend to "drop their h's (aitches)" so in written English the 'h' is often replaced by an apostrophe mark to mimic the sound. Consequently here will be written as 'ere and sound the same as ear.

HTH

PS I don't speak like that because I'm from Newcastle and we pronounce e.g. home as yem and house as hoos which I think have Scandinavian origins....... http://www.englandsnortheast.co.uk/GeordieOrigins.html

PPS Congratulations on the 1000th post!

[John_W]

I'm from Newcastle and we pronounce e.g. home as yem and house as hoos which I think have Scandinavian origins.......

Danish hjem =home, hus=house, also by (pron boo) at the end of a place name = "town/village" (eg Grimsby = Grim's town). Lots of other interesting etymoligical comparisons between Scots/Geordie/Scandinavian too. I remember telling a Dane we were "flitting" (Scots = moving house) and she understood precisely, as the Danish is flytter.
Good for an evening's entertainment in Scandinavian drinking establishments.
John

PS: irrespective of all that, I still think your "ere to ere" post is a bit random.

[Dave Eds]

I still think your "ere to ere" post is a bit random.

as are 10,000 plus of his other posts!

[Peter_W]

It was all bloomin' clear to me. Right. I'm chuffed!

[HJ2]

I'll think i'll better stick with Elan-tinkering and leave the dialect stuff alone One step at a time 's the credo!

What made me smile today was the package I received from the English Monkey boys!
Let's disassemble some dials now

[cliff]

A wry smile for the truth in the words.

I know it's for a game but I love the sentiment, passion and raw truth in Clarkson's voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvimE0aNFOg

The Aston is pretty cool too!!

We car lovers are an endangered species and sadly no one is going to save us!

[lotusgirlmarie]

Sadly that is true. Even the current exotics are so computer reliant that in a few years the software becomes outdated rendering the car an irrelevant showpiece. Nothing more. Once they're parent companies decide they don't want to support the car anymore it's basically done. The classics will live on as enthusiasts take up the slack the factory leaves behind. In the end, we'll all drive Prius and the cars will be leashed and crushed at the end of they're useful life. The bits dismantled to become toasters in the third world. Thank our lucky stars that for now at least, we have a community so dedicated to the little showstopper we all fell in live with and will support, making it relevant... For a long time to come.

[Specky]

Seeing two brake lines on eBay...

Nothing strange about that...

Until you realise which ones they are... IMHO I'd say it's deffinatley the hardest task on the Elan undertake.... And that'll be why they're on eBay.

I'll have a bid or two all the same



TTFN

[cliff]

The Technik Museum at Sinsheim, not far from Hockenheim. Great place, lots of F1 cars, trains, planes, cars from American to European, a '66 Elan S2 & early Lotus 7, Concorde & the Tupelev 144.

Photo-0055.jpg

The sister museum in Speyer is even better with a 747, U boat & the Russian Space Shuttle Buran.

Lot of traffic on the drive home but a clear run really made me smile.

Photo-0059.jpg

Ironically, ran out of unrestricted road just near Hockenheim.

[Dave Eds]

good job you ran out of unrestricted road before you ran out of fuel

[HJ2]

... Or brake pads
Pay a visit to Speyer's is high on my wishlist

[Songbird]

Make sure sound is turned up on your PC ... Made me smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w96-v81Ve4

[GeoffSmith]

BolloccsToMorrisons.jpg

[hatters]

Mrs Jones went to see her doctor
Hello Mrs Jones said the doctor can I help you .
Mrs jones said I hope you can but its rather private
The Doctor said you wont bother me Mrs jones I have seen it all during my career
Ok she said the problem is I cant help breaking wind when I am walking anywhere
The doctor said Ok go over to the door and walk across the room
So off she goes and walks from one side of the room to the other
And sure enough every step she made she farted
The doctor said OK thats enough now could you please lie down on the couch and remove your panties and open your legs wide
Mrs jones did this and she was lying on the couch
It was at this point when the doctor went to the other side of the room and picked up along pole with a large brass hook on the end
Mrs jones grimaced and said what on earth are you going to do with that
The doctor replied I am going to open these windows IT STINKS IN HERE