Things that made you smile today

[Fredjohn]

Received the following text from EE (Orange) today:

"Hi John, get a fantastic free tablet from just £10 a month before 28th Dec"

Someone should tell their marketing department what free means!!!

[Rice crispy]

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit
taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".


Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new
Taser!

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.


They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is
going to shift this beer belly.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.


The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Edna has plenty stacked up on her
doorstep.
Blonde wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some luke warm water over it."
Wife texts back: "Computer really buggered now.”
Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min

News flashes:

1 Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove.

2 A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related.

3 Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

[TrevorB]

It might have been the last opportunity today to take 'Merlot' out for a spin. Because it was a lovely clear sunny day thought I'd take
her for a good blast THAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY.

Now I know we love our cars but she's been stuck under the onsie for over a month and she was keen to get out, I could tell

She seems to get better everytime I take her out, what a dream to drive today.

Back under the cover and SORN from 1st January. Operation date 13th January, Suspect not back on road till April.

But ended the year with a big

[Rice crispy]

Good to hear Trevor.

[novacaine]

You'll be back in Merlot in no time Trevor. At least she is safe from the icy roads

[Ian T]

Hey Trevor,

I'm still utterly buried in work (it's that time of year), but mine is still on-the-road and I thoroughly intend to get out for a run over the Christmas break - if it turns out that you are free for a quick 'hello' we might finally meet.

Besides, I'm really needing mine to get the smile going again.

Ian.

[muley]

via Pistonheads

http://issuu.com/gollabags/docs/golla_c ... 05/9025755

candidate for a caption competition?

Handbrake return spring to the winner..

[Rice crispy]

Hey Trevor,

I'm still utterly buried in work (it's that time of year), but mine is still on-the-road and I thoroughly intend to get out for a run over the Christmas break - if it turns out that you are free for a quick 'hello' we might finally meet.

Besides, I'm really needing mine to get the smile going again.

Ian.

Ian I'm up for a run over the holiday if you fancy it
David

[Jamie N]

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit
taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".


Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new
Taser!

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.


They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is
going to shift this beer belly.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.


The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Edna has plenty stacked up on her
doorstep.
Blonde wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some luke warm water over it."
Wife texts back: "Computer really buggered now.”
Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min

News flashes:

1 Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove.

2 A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related.

3 Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

Just brilliant!.

[Ian T]

Ian I'm up for a run over the holiday if you fancy it
David

You're on! I had a similar reply from Trevor suggesting the Grasshopper for a meet if we get some nice weather.

Does planning smiles qualify in this thread?

Ian.

[Rice crispy]

Anything that involves getting the Elan out for a spin is a in my book. Happy to meet at the Grasshopper if someone can tell me where it is and when

[mitreklov]

This discussion of a meet at the Grasshopper over the holidays makes me smile, i'm up for it.
Is it worth moving the discussion to this thread?

viewtopic.php?f=75&t=23324&start=20

Tim

[Rob P]

Well Saturday actually, 88 miles of top down motoring in the Elan over from Lancashire into Yorkshire via the country route and back again, to drive this car is to love it to bits

[novacaine]

www.dailyfailcenter.com/290721

Good old Prince Charles haha

[Rob P]

Tickets for the 73rd Members meeting at Good wood in March

Roving Grandstand passes and weekend passes for me and my lad, very posh metal badges rather than the cardboard ones you get for the revival

I would have loaded a picture but site wouldn't let me for some reason - Error Could not upload attachment to ./files/9193_88283eb34ef8b8c8e935498b297dd728.

[Kathryn]

When that idiot who's just overtaken you overtakes a car in the 30 zone which then reveals itself to be an unmarked police car!

[GeoffSmith]

Unleaded for under £1/litre in Redditch on Thursday.

[HJ2]

The new sign on my garage door!

[GeoffSmith]

20°C in Fuerteventura this afternoon. And tomorrow. And the day after that. And for the rest of the fortnight.

[dapinky]

20°C in Fuerteventura this afternoon. And tomorrow. And the day after that. And for the rest of the fortnight.

I hope you've got a good coat...... 32C in Saigon

(but I've not even got to Hanoi yet, where it's a measley 24 - still, I will be tomorrow!)